The Saddest Superman: Dean Cain’s Kryptonite Is Relevance
The only thing more embarrassing than Cain’s career is ICE pretending he belongs on a commemorative coin.
WASHINGTON — It’s official: Dean Cain, the TV Superman whose career flatlined sometime in the Clinton administration, has found his next role. Not on screen—no studio is calling—but in the cosplay halls of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. DHS says they’ll even mint a commemorative coin in his honor. A coin. For Dean Cain.
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Let’s pause here.
Commemorative coins are a big deal. Congress has to authorize them. They’ve been used to honor the Statue of Liberty, the Vietnam War Memorial, the Marine Corps’ 250th anniversary. These coins preserve history, raise hundreds of millions for cultural institutions, and mark the nation’s defining moments. And now? We’re supposed to pretend Dean Cain signing up as ICE’s honorary geriatric recruit belongs in that lineage? Please.
Superman? Try Super Washed Up
Cain was always the weakest Superman. A Hallmark Channel background extra disguised as a leading man. His resume since Lois & Clark reads like a graveyard of straight-to-DVD Christian thrillers no one watched, punctuated by Fox News guest spots where he rants about “woke Hollywood.” He’s become that guy—famous for once being famous, now clinging to the MAGA circuit for relevance.
As John Leguizamo put it bluntly to Deadline reporter Natalie Oganesyan: “What kind of loser volunteers to be an ICE officer? … Dean Cain, your pronouns are has/been.” A video ICE posted to Instagram Sunday would appear to validate Leguizamo’s assessment. Migrant Insider doesn’t link to ICE propaganda, but luckily
cross-posted Cain’s mediocre (pathetic?) performance on Fox News. Watch:
ICE’s PR Clown
ICE is in the middle of a public-image crisis: mass deportations, family separations, detention suicides. The agency wants America to see not cages and raids but Dean Cain in a baseball cap, grinning like your uncle who can’t let go of the glory days. It’s pathetic. He isn’t there to enforce the law. He’s there as a prop.
This isn’t the first time ICE has used “honorary” titles as PR stunts, but with Cain, the desperation is palpable. They couldn’t land anyone relevant, so they dusted off a Superman from 30 years ago. It’s like recruiting Joey from Full House to sell you on the virtues of waterboarding.
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A Coin Toss to Irrelevance
Let’s be clear: Cain’s “coin” is not a U.S. Mint commemorative coin. Congress isn’t wasting ink to honor a washed-up TV actor who cosplays as law enforcement. What DHS is really proposing is a knockoff trinket, the kind of thing you buy in a gift shop at Fort Bragg next to the “Blue Lives Matter” mugs.
Compare that to the U.S. Mint’s real work: coins for the Purple Heart, Apollo 11, the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Marine Corps. Dean Cain doesn’t belong in that company. He belongs in the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
MY TAKE: Superman was an immigrant, a literal alien who crash-landed on Earth, grew up in Kansas, and dedicated his life to protecting the vulnerable. Dean Cain traded that mythology for a MAGA cap and a shiny ICE badge to terrorize hardworking, law-abiding busboys, abuelitas, building contractors, and air conditioner repairmen. It’s cosplay for the cameras, propaganda for an agency with blood on its hands, and the latest sad chapter in Cain’s long decline from leading man to an irrelevant laughingstock … a cringeworthy, right-wing carnival barker.
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The irony of the Superman character being developed by two Jewish kids largely in response to the rise of Naziism in Europe to a mediocre actor hijacking the persona to work for the modern Gestapo should not be overlooked.
https://crimereads.com/birth-of-superman-jerry-siegal-joe-shuster/
Especially since Dean Cain’s birth father was Japanese!!!!